I might have Attention Deficit Disorder but I don’t have the patience to get tested. I was filling a coffeemaker with water the other morning and I got bored doing it. I got halfway through filling up the reservoir or whatever they call the water thing on those Keurig machines and just stopped. I was bored to tears. I couldn’t take it.

Of course, yes, yes, I know –that would mean I’d have to fill it up again that much sooner. Didn’t matter, doesn’t matter. As the women of Be Well Be Happy tell me, I’m supposed to stay in the moment. Why should I care about having to refill the thing in the near future? I could be walking back to my kitchen table and get hit by a bus.

Things are no different at the gas station. I put the hose in the tank

If you’re playing sports or a game any kind, the last thing you want to hear is someone telling you, “nice try” or “good try.”  Or anything like that.

Words will not make you feel better if you missed that putt by six inches or missed a jump shot with time running out. Or your jenga blocks fell after you got a little daring. Who, in the history of anything, has ever replied, thanks, I appreciate that, it really was a good try. Thanks for making me feel better.

You might start losing your

Thanksgiving was at least six months ago.

I went to a fantastic wedding last New Year’s Eve. But I swear that couple must be celebrating their third of fourth anniversary. It couldn’t have been just one year ago. No way.

Australian wildfires which seemed to threaten everything Down Under happened in January. It was a big story that went up in flames. Sorry, sometimes puns just insist on getting in. Anyway, where was I? Oh, Australia. The fires are forgotten and now the news is, the place is

I need to rant. I was going to write a letter to the editor but I was afraid The Rockaway Times wouldn’t print it.

There’s been a lot of count-all-the-votes and stop-counting-the-votes noise but in my book it’s more like start the vote count.

I was a regular boy scout johnny-come-early with my absentee ballot. I mailed it September, wait I gotta put that in caps, SEPTEMBER 30 and they still haven’t friggin’ counted my vote. Which could definitely sway things.

It’s 36 days. I have the

The son who will remain nameless looked out the window a couple of weeks ago and asked, you know what I’m not doing? Shoveling. He says I forced him to have shoulder surgery so it’s my fault that I’m the one who has to go out and shovel six inches of karma.

He had to have the surgery and I figured late November was a good time because, for one thing, it hadn’t really snowed the last few years. I was figuring snow was something we’d talk about like the good old days. Snow was only a memory

You know how sometimes your kids don’t want advice but you give it to them anyway. You know how somebody talking about silver linings can have really bad timing. Sometimes you just want to wallow in the dark and don’t want to hear about looking at the bright side. Yes, I know things could always be worse but you’re making it worse by telling me that.

So, to be clear, I’m not saying things could be worse. I’m fully onboard with those who don’t even see the glass, never mind if it’s half empty

We weren’t poor, we were inventive. We’ve gone from make-do to just get another one.

I was watching Intelligence on Netflix, a pretty good mob/government conspiracy series and there’s a cliffhanger at the end of Season 2. I do the quick search with the remote and I don’t see Season 3. I ask the friend who recommended it and he says, yeah, there’s no Season 3, that’s it.

First, I’m annoyed. How can you recommend something that just goes away, and isn’t resolved? And he shrugs, that’s the way

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