Absentee? I’ll Say

Boyleing Points
Typography

I need to rant. I was going to write a letter to the editor but I was afraid The Rockaway Times wouldn’t print it.

There’s been a lot of count-all-the-votes and stop-counting-the-votes noise but in my book it’s more like start the vote count.

I was a regular boy scout johnny-come-early with my absentee ballot. I mailed it September, wait I gotta put that in caps, SEPTEMBER 30 and they still haven’t friggin’ counted my vote. Which could definitely sway things.

It’s 36 days. I have the receipt. It was reported that a full week after Election Day, just 74% of votes in New York have been counted. I know he’s been busy writing a book about the pandemic but you’d think Governor Cuomo would have found the time to fix the Board of Elections. He could have fixed it pre-pandemic. He could have fixed in since 2010.

He’s in charge, he’s been in charge of a system that sucks. He can’t even blame de Blasio for this mess. You’d think, all states, after hanging chads in 2000, we’d be in a better place. But the farce be with you.

That’s not to say there haven’t been technological advances. The beauty of absentee ballots is that you can track your ballot online. The horror of absentee ballots is you can track your ballot and discover: The Post Office has your completed ballot. (And still has it 36 days later).

And without my vote, how am I supposed to know if I’m a judge or not? Other than a candidate’s family members, nobody knows anybody running for civil court judge or dog catcher. One vote could really make a difference. A lot of voters leave the choices blank –which I see as an opportunity.  

I write my name in for a judge slot hoping I can wear a robe (and sweats underneath, of course). People who follow this stuff know Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck get a lot of write-in votes. I’m prepared to send Bill Barr in to challenge those cartoons and declare me the winner. I’ve just got to get the vote counted. (I’m not sure exactly what line or judgeship I voted for but …details, details).

The real reason I do a write-in is because I do want to make sure my other friggin’ votes are counted. Weeks after the vote is certified, you can ask for results from the Board of Elections. In theory, you should see the names of people who got write-ins, including yourself if you so voted.

But it’s not always the case. I’ve checked and a couple of times and there’s been no sign of me on the votes tally. I won’t go as far as to say Cuomo ordered somebody to remove my name but I will say he’s in charge of a system that won’t reliably record your vote.

And now I learn, if they do count my vote, it might not be until Thanksgiving. Grrrrr….ok, rant over.

My vote may not be counted but next time, I’m asking you to vote for me. I want to beat Mickey Mouse fair and square.

 By Kevin Boyle 

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