A Pastime Past its Prime

By Sarah McVeigh

Here I am, just a sportswriter who is forced to write about baseball. Yes, I know there is a golf tournament going on, but get real.

I am fed up with America’s pastime, so I’ve decided to write about everything in professional baseball that, frankly, is BS. Buckle up, baseball fans.

Let’s start with something new to the game that I find totally embarrassing: the “oven mitts” that players wear once they get to first base. Have you seen these things? They’re supposed to protect players’ fingers in case they slide into base. I think baseball players need to grow a pair. They’re so worried about jamming their fingers that they’ve resorted to wearing these mitts. Also, the mitts are clearly bigger than the players’ hands, so I think it’s just a sneaky way to claim the player got to base a little earlier than he would have if it were just his hand.

As a professional baseball player, you are expected to be able to handle the pace of the game and keep up on offense and on defense. Yet, professional baseball players are told by base coaches whether they should run or stay on base. That is mind-blowing to me. A guy with a multi-million-dollar contract, who has been playing baseball since little league, can’t decide for himself if he should run or stay? We really leave that decision up to a COACH? That’s part of the game. If a player can’t figure it out, then he shouldn’t be at the professional level. There is no need for base coaches during a game.

One of the highlights of baseball is the infamous uniform. Let’s be honest, attractive men in tight pants definitely don’t hurt the ratings. But I don’t think the managers should wear a uniform. This tradition dates back to when the managers were also players, so they had to be in uniform. Obviously, that’s not the case anymore. Now, if you don’t know by now, you should know that I find Aaron Boone to be a babe. I love to see him ‘out there shakin’ his thang’ in tight pants. However, I don’t understand the point. Guys who do not play baseball should not be in a uniform. Just wear a team shirt and athletic bottoms. We all know who you are; the uniform is just uncalled for.

At the July 15 All-Star baseball game, the Automated Ball-Strike System (ABS) was used for the first time. ABS uses cameras called Hawk-Eyes to determine if a pitch is a ball or a strike. I understand that technology is the future — I can’t even order a bagel without using a kiosk anymore — but call me old-fashioned, I don’t like it. Let’s keep people in jobs and technology out of here. Currently, in MLB, teams are allotted two challenges per game. If the team wins their challenge, they get it back and can use it again. When MLB uses this technology, and a team challenges a call, a human umpire will look and make the call. So WTF is the point? Either way, we need a human umpire, so let’s just keep human umpires in the game!

In positive news, football is just around the corner, so I won’t have to think about baseball until the playoffs. We’re almost out of the no-sports summer!