Autism and the Holidays: Tips on Making it Stress Free

By Kami-Leigh Agard

With Thanksgiving upon us, the holiday season is full steam ahead! Between the bright lights, loud noises, strong smells, change in routine—for autistic individuals, the holidays can feel especially overwhelming. However, as Dr. Stephen Shore, an autistic professor of special education at Adelphi University, once said, “When you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.” So, to prepare constructively for unique challenges, here are some tips to truly make it the most, “wonderful time of the year,” for both you and your child.

Numero uno—Routine, routine, routine! It’s crucial to maintain regular routines and schedules as much as possible, even if you are traveling. These may include mealtimes, bedtime routines, bath time, playtime and even alone time. Also, as many children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) have sensory issues and are picky eaters, try to have the same foods available, even at the table’s holiday spread of dishes that may look intimidating because of taste, texture, and even color. Aim to provide some “sameness” and comfort. That said, who knows? Your picky eater may lap up turkey and granny’s apple pie! Encourage them to try new foods and explore different tastes as is comfortable, but make sure to have their regular favorites on-hand.

Numero dos—Maintain reasonable expectations and plan ahead. From holiday photos, family gatherings or even decorations—don’t feel pressured—just do what’s best for you and your child. For individuals with heightened sensory sensitivity, elements like bright lights, crowded spaces, loud music, strong scents—can lead to overstimulation and dysregulation. Thoughtful planning can help mitigate these challenges and create a more comfortable environment. Each person with autism perceives the world through their senses uniquely, so it’s important to tailor your approach. With decorations, be mindful of how lighting and displays might affect your loved one. Leaving parts of your home undecorated or gradually adding decorations over time can help ease the transition. Plus, at family gatherings, make sure there’s a space they can retreat just to get a break. As for holiday family photos, forget social media! Don’t feel obligated to do the same photos as your friends with the family in matching outfits. Just do what you do best—minus the pressure.

Gifts. When family and friends ask what to buy, be candid about your child’s likes and interests. Spoiler alert, there’s no perfect gift! The gift is the giver, and my daughter has taught me that. Children with ASD can especially benefit from toys that involve social interaction, encourage turn-taking and build language skills. Give family members a list of gifts your child might like. And regarding wrapping gifts, I can attest that my daughter has no interest in ripping open the wrapping paper, much less the gift. I used to be a bit crestfallen about that, but I’ve grown to appreciate the simplicity of Christmas morning. Another day I get to treasure her giggly smile.

Travel. Prepare in advance for the trip by packing your child’s favorite toys, books, or movies. Invest in portable chargers compatible with their Augmentative and Alternative Communication device (AAC), iPad and phone. This simple measure can circumvent a meltdown because they can’t play a game, song, or for those who need these devices to communicate their needs. Also, TSA Cares is a helpline that provides airport travelers with disabilities and medical conditions requiring special accommodations. Call 72 hours prior to your travel at (855) 787-2227.

The magic of the holidays is not in the grandiose number of events you attend, picture-perfect holiday photos, the number or price of presents—all our children need is our PRESENCE!

Speaking of presence, a colossal thanks to Rhythms On the Rock and DJ Mugsy Mugs for hosting Rockaway Beach Autism Families’ Hurricane Melissa Relief Drive for Jamaica Autism Academy (JAC) this past Saturday, November 22. The community was so forthcoming with relief items, but so much more is needed! During the event, JAC’s executive director, Sydia Allen, sent this message: “It’s been a horrible night. We don’t have power. We have a leptospirosis breakout. Lots of people need medical aid. We desperately need water, medical and hygiene items.” RBAF is shipping barrels with relief items to JAC. For more info on items needed, call/text Kami-Leigh Agard at 718- 450-5359 or email: kami@rockawaybeachautismfamilies.org. Monetary donations can be sent directly to JAC via PayPal: @JamaicaAutismAcademy.