Let Your Children Lead

By Jennifer Kelleher

Ten years ago, I became a mother. And around the same time, everything else in my life shifted, too.

My son turned 10 this week, and like most milestone birthdays, it has me reflecting, not just on who he is becoming, but on who I have become alongside him. A decade of motherhood carries so many layers: joy, exhaustion, pride, fear, humility, and a kind of devotion that quietly reshapes you from the inside out.

One thing I’ve been noticing more clearly as he grows is how careful I have to be not to push my own ideas, timelines, or expectations onto him. This is different from encouragement, different from structure, and different from holding boundaries or asking him to follow through on commitments he’s made.

It’s the difference between guiding and steering, between supporting and projecting.

As parents, it’s easy to confuse our anxiety for wisdom. We see potential, we want to protect, we want to help them avoid struggle or disappointment. Sometimes we even think we know what will make them happy. But I’m learning that part of loving a child well is allowing them space to discover themselves– at their pace, in their way.

Letting children lead doesn’t mean stepping back entirely. It means listening more than directing. Asking questions instead of issuing conclusions. It means noticing when our own fears start talking louder than their inner knowing.

This reflection feels especially tender for me because I recognize how easy it is, for any of us, to slowly shape ourselves around expectations. Not because anyone asked us to abandon ourselves, but because we’re perceptive, adaptable, and eager to belong.

Much of that happens quietly, without blame or intention.

For a long time, I tried to be what I thought I should be– what felt acceptable, understandable, and safe in the world. Over time, that version of myself began to feel tight. Not wrong, just incomplete. And eventually, it no longer fit.

What unraveled then wasn’t a failure or a mistake, it was a natural shedding. A season of growth that asked me to look more closely at who I actually was beneath the roles I had been carrying. The work that followed wasn’t about undoing the past, but about integrating it– learning to trust myself more deeply and show up with greater honesty.

That process wasn’t neat or linear. But I kept choosing presence over autopilot, and truth over comfort. Somewhere along the way, I stopped observing my life from the outside and began fully inhabiting it.

Now, as a mother, this awareness shapes how I show up. I want my son to know himself not because he’s reacting to expectations, but because he’s been given space to listen inwardly. I want him to feel guided and supported, without being rushed toward an outcome or identity.

To me, this is devotion in its truest form.

Not control, not self-erasure… but attention, trust, and reverence for the unfolding.

As I sit with this ten-year marker, I feel a quiet gratitude– for my son, for the life that slowly took shape, for love I never could have planned, and for the woman who did the untangling so she could show up more fully for herself and for him.

I’ve come a long way. And it feels really good to be here.

If you’re craving spaces to slow down, reconnect, and practice this kind of presence in your own life, you’re always welcome at Ocean Bliss Yoga. We offer classes, workshops, and sound baths designed to support nervous system regulation, self-trust, and connection– on and off the mat. Moms, dad, and caretakers: join us every Thursday from 11 a.m. – 12 p.m. for your weekly hour of yoga. Trusted babysitter available on site and included in the price fee.

Visit www.oceanblissyoga.net to view the schedule or reach out directly with questions. You can also call or text me at 917-318-1168. I’d love to practice with you.