A Lot to Discuss

By Sean McVeigh

My wife and I have one spot for a car at our apartment. Our spot is on the right side, and the stairs to our front door border the right side of the driveway, which makes things a little tricky. To park without sticking out onto the sidewalk — and still be able to open the driver’s side door — you have to back in. The catch is, if you don’t hug those stairs, there won’t be enough room between our car and the other car to get important things (i.e., bikes, beach chairs, coolers) in and out of the garage.

My wife loves to brag that she’s the better parker when it comes to the driveway. And honestly, she’s probably right (sigh — that was tough to admit). But I always make sure to point out that it’s only because I’m such a gentleman and give her the spot nine times out of ten. Practice makes perfect, after all.

You can tell a lot about someone by how they park. Before we moved into our current place, backing in wasn’t really either of our “thing.” Now, however, I’d consider myself an avid backer-inner in just about any parking lot. And I have to say, I’ve started judging those who don’t.

I used to be a pull-in kind of guy, so I am familiar with the temptation. It’s definitely easier in the moment. But I’ve undergone a radical conversion — I’ve come to appreciate how the other half lives. I like getting the tough part out of the way up front. Backing out of a spot you’ve pulled into — especially in a busy lot — can be a real pain in the asphalt, even with the full camera crew cars come equipped with these days. But if you back in from the start, leaving is effortless: you just get in, pull forward, and you’re on your way. And, let’s be honest, you look so much cooler doing it too.

Parking lots, when you think about it, are really just miniature sociology experiments.

First, you have the people to whom the rules don’t apply. They invent their own spots directly in front of wherever they’re going. It doesn’t matter if “NO PARKING” is painted in large, bright yellow letters — these folks are convinced their time is more precious than yours or mine. I’m sure they rationalize it: “I’m just running in real quick. I’m not bothering anyone.” Well, if you’re one of those people and you’re within the sound of my voice, listen up: you’re bothering me! But let’s not go too far down that rabbit hole. Let’s explore some other parking peculiarities.

When you pull into a lot, do you grab the first open spot you see? Or do you head straight toward your destination and work your way back? If you’re part of the latter group, how far back will you retreat before circling around again, hoping the parking gods have smiled on you with a freshly opened spot?

Then there are the folks who purposely park on the outskirts. I feel a certain kinship with these people. Most of the time, there’s just too much going on in the heart of a lot. In my experience, the people circling for those “prime” spots are not usually the kind I enjoy interacting with. And, not to reopen old wounds, but the closer you get to those premium spots, the more likely you are to encounter the “no-parking parkers.” As Einstein once said, “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”

The truth is, most parking lots aren’t that big, and there are usually plenty of spaces available along the edges. For my own sanity, I’ve learned it’s best to skip the chaos altogether, head straight to the back, embrace the abundance of open spots, and enjoy the short stroll across the lot.

While you meander through that lot, though, keep an eye out for people backing out of their spots — they can’t be trusted.