Love Yourself

By Kami-Leigh Agard

With 2026 a mere two weeks away, I’ve already started agonizing. As a parent, I feel bloated. I don’t mean bloated from holiday feasting. I mean bloated like a sponge; dripping with all the guilt, stress and fear absorbed in the past 12 months parenting my 17-year-old autistic daughter. The snafus with her school bussing, disappointing evaluations which led to us transferring her to another school, locking every door and window in the house to circumvent her desire to run outside or even jump out the window, the constant stream of therapists and aides coming to the house…I could go on and on. I feel in one year, I aged ten years. I look in the mirror and don’t even recognize myself. If any parents out there could relate, I urge you to pause for a minute, and take stock. This is not a pity party. This is a call for action for the sake of our own health and sanity. Let’s make a pledge to vigorously wring and shake ourselves dry and prepare to only absorb all that is mindfully beneficial in 2026 and beyond—GUILT-FREE.

How? Love yourself. I’m not saying to be self-absorbed or uncaring, as a parent that’s impossible! However, this past year, I literally ran myself ragged, found myself in a few health crises; many days seething with resentment, and sinking deeper and deeper into a dark depression. Then it hit me. Neglecting oneself does not make one a good parent. Instead, loving oneself makes one a good parent. And folks, though the idea of self-love may seem like a daunting commitment, it’s achievable. It just takes work. Remember the instructions about the oxygen mask when you are on an airplane? “If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your own mask first, and then assist the other person.” Meaning before we can take care of ANYONE, we must tend to OUR needs first.

And we can achieve this by laying the groundwork for a well-balanced, healthy lifestyle by:

1-Practicing regular hygiene.

2-Don’t cancel your regular medical check-ups.

3-Exercise. According to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), besides controlling your weight, moderate-intensity aerobic activity can also reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, metabolic syndrome and some cancers, strengthen bones and muscles, improve mental health and mood, and increase longevity of life! So, that selfish 30 minutes reserved for daily exercise, whether it be walking, jogging, yoga, martial arts, swimming or even surfing can potentially increase your days to be healthfully present and able to care for your children, and even their children’s children.

4-Keep up hobbies and social activities. If your partner or comrades want to have a dinner and movie night, go! Once you have reliable childcare for a few hours, don’t feel guilty. Just those few hours of reprieve, socializing with adult company, can actually be rejuvenating and give you a different perspective.

5-If you are offered help, accept it! My daughter is literally a cyclone, full of energy and is an exercise workout for even the most robust. However, oftentimes when close friends or family would offer to take her out, I would politely decline. When admittedly, inside I’m kicking myself. If you trust the person, use that time to tidy the house, take a nap, get your hair done, curl up on the couch with a book, whatever. Just do you.

6-Stop comparing yourself and accept that you are the best parent your child can ever have. No one’s perfect. The important thing is to make sure to keep spiritually, physically and mentally healthy to share a rich life of hope, love and of course, laughter with your loved ones.

7-And lastly, to paraphrase a quote attributed to the great Winston Churchill, “Even if you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Just after giving birth to her first child, Fox News Channel contributor Kat Timpf underwent a double mastectomy to fight breast cancer. She recently shared this on Instagram: “There’s really no limit to how messy your life can get, as losing parts of your body within a month of having an entire other body come out of it can show you. But there really is beauty in the mess, man. Actually, the most beautiful stuff comes out of a mess.”