Doing The Hard Things

By Jennifer Kelleher

There’s a certain quiet moment that happens before we do the hard thing. A pause. Sometimes it lasts only a few seconds; other times it stretches for weeks, months, even years. It’s that space between knowing what we need to do and actually doing it.

Maybe it’s the tough conversation you’ve been avoiding, the boundary you know you need to set, or the project that requires you to show up more consistently than feels comfortable. Whatever form it takes, hard things demand something deeper than motivation: they ask for courage, clarity, and trust.

Psychologically, our brains are wired to protect us from discomfort. The limbic system (the part that governs emotion and survival) interprets challenge as potential threat. It whispers, “stay safe, stay comfortable, stay small.” So we procrastinate, rationalize, or distract ourselves. We convince ourselves that “now’s not the right time,” that “we need more information,” or that “it’ll be easier when things calm down.”

These are protective patterns (coping strategies that once helped us feel in control). Avoidance isn’t laziness; it’s fear in disguise. Fear of failure, rejection, success, loss, or even change itself. Because doing the hard thing often means letting go of the familiar version of who we’ve been. Our nervous system prefers predictability over growth, so even when the current situation feels unfulfilling, it feels safe. That’s why we stay in the job, the relationship, the habit, long after our inner voice has started to whisper, “something has to change.”

The turning point comes when the discomfort of staying the same becomes greater than the discomfort of changing. It’s that day you wake up and realize the weight of avoidance feels heavier than the fear of action. Doing the hard thing doesn’t require instant transformation. It starts with one decision, one action, one moment of honesty. Often, it’s not even about being ready, it’s about being willing. And here’s the truth: we rarely feel ready. Readiness is a mirage that appears only after we’ve already stepped forward. When we finally face the thing we’ve been avoiding, something alchemical happens. The energy we’ve been using to suppress, delay, or rationalize is suddenly freed. There’s a lightness, a sense of self-trust that starts to take root. Each time we do the hard thing, we prove to ourselves that we can be relied on, and that our word, our boundaries, and our dreams, matter. The confidence we crave doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from follow-through.

Doing the hard thing expands our sense of self. It shifts the story from, “I can’t handle this” to, “I can.” And once that belief takes hold, it ripples through everything we touch. The hard things are never just about the surface act (the conversation, the choice, the change). They are about reclaiming trust in ourselves, piece by piece.

So, how do we begin? We start by naming it honestly– saying out loud what we’ve been avoiding without sugarcoating or shame. We take one small, doable step forward instead of waiting for perfect timing. We tell someone we trust, creating a layer of accountability. We expect resistance and meet it gently, reminding ourselves that fear isn’t a stop sign, it’s a sign of growth. And we celebrate the small wins, because every step taken in truth strengthens the muscle for the next hard thing.

The truth is, life doesn’t necessarily get easier, we get stronger. The hard things don’t disappear; we just learn how to meet them differently. We stop shrinking from them and start walking toward them, knowing that each time we do, we return to a truer, steadier version of ourselves– one forged not in comfort, but in courage.

When life feels heavy or uncertain, movement and breath can become an anchor. Come practice with us at Ocean Bliss Yoga: a warm, heart-centered space by the water where we move, breathe, and grow together. We offer yoga and Pilates classes for all levels, along with sound baths, workshops, and community events designed to support your journey. Visit oceanblissyoga.net to view our schedule or call or text me at 917-318-1168 with any questions. All are welcome, always.