A Stream of Consciousness

In 1793, Jacques Mallet du Pan coined the phrase, “The revolution devours its children.” Mallet du Pan was a French royalist, and his poignant observation reflected on the chaos consuming his country.

The French Revolution began, like the American Revolution, with a desire to throw off the heavy yoke of monarchy. (Yes, that’s a gross oversimplification, but I’ve got a word count to meet — so give me a break.) That might be where the comparisons of the two revolutions end. Things got a bit more complicated for the French when the king they were trying to unseat lived in the palace next door, rather than an ocean away, as was the fortunate case for America.

Very long and very bloody story short: most of the people who had the temerity to start the French Revolution in the first place eventually met their ends at the same revolution’s hands. As the movement tilted more radical, those early rebels suddenly found their once-revolutionary ideas considered moderate — and therefore unacceptable.

All of which is to say: remember when “cutting the cord” was a radical thing to do? I sure do. Cable companies were charging an arm and a leg for a thousand channels when you only wanted to watch six. Why pay all that money when you could just switch to Fubo or Sling, pair that with Netflix, and be all set, right?

Oh, how the people cheered when we sent Verizon to the guillotine. Viva la streaming!

Those were simple, happy times — the glory days of binge-watching. A show would drop, and all ten episodes would be there on day one, ready to power through. And goodbye, commercials! You were paying for the service, so obviously they wouldn’t subject you to ads too. That would just be greedy.

It wasn’t long before others saw the formula and said, “Hold my beer.”

Peacock, Disney+, Prime Video, Apple TV, HBO Max, Hulu, Paramount+, ESPN+ — if you were a media company with a pulse, you had no choice but to launch a streaming service.

And it all went downhill so fast. I think we knew something was off when the commercials came back. What do you mean I’m paying for the service and still watching ads? Isn’t that just cable? Sure, you can get rid of the commercials — just pay a higher fee. And now, in a nostalgic twist, most shows are back to being released weekly. I might as well be watching Fox.

The funny thing is most of the big players have at least one great show. The kind where the morning after it drops, someone at the watercooler inevitably asks, “Did you watch last night?!” This is what prevents you from choosing just one and forgoing the others. And now you are seeing the slow drift of sports to streaming. Trying to find the Yankee game is like playing “Where’s Waldo?”

But subscribing to all of them is impossible — it would cost a fortune. So people did the smart thing: they shared the burden. You pay for A and B, I’ll take C and D, and we’ll swap. Of course, the services knew this was happening. Heck, their own employees were probably doing it. They let it slide for a while — probably to make sure everyone was good and addicted to the drug they were dealing — but now they’re all pulling the plug.

At least in my own experience, I’m seeing a crackdown across the board. “This does not appear to be your home TV.” “Too many users logged in at the same time.” The freeloading era is over. Streaming giants are making a conscious effort to re-centralize what was once a proudly decentralized industry. How long before they require us to hook up our TVs to some sort of wire or… cable?

Historians still debate exactly when the French Revolution ended. Some point to 1794 with the Thermidorian Reaction and the end of the Reign of Terror. Others say 1799, when Napoleon overthrew the Directory and became First Consul. Still others — and I think the fitting one for today’s column — argue in favor of 1804, when Napoleon crowned himself Emperor. The revolution began with the overthrow of a king and ended with the overthrow of a republic and the restoration of a monarchy just under a new name.

At what point will we realize that the ten streaming services we’re paying for now cost more than cable ever did? At what point do streaming services become the very thing they were meant to oppose? And at what point do we put our foot down, say “enough,” and just crawl back to the safe, warm embrace of the cable companies?