Entering Flow State

By Jennifer Kelleher

There comes a point in life, often quietly, not dramatically, when holding on starts to feel heavier than letting go.

At first, we don’t recognize it as gripping. It looks like responsibility. Or discipline. Or “having it together.” But beneath the surface, there’s often tension– an effort that feels constant, a subtle bracing against uncertainty. We tighten our control over outcomes, routines, emotions, even over how we unwind or cope, believing that if we manage things just right, we’ll finally feel settled.

Many of these patterns didn’t come out of nowhere. They formed during moments when life felt overwhelming, painful, or unpredictable. They helped us get through, and they protected us… and that matters.

But part of growth is recognizing when what once helped us cope is now quietly holding us back.

Sometimes the grip shows up in obvious ways, like overworking, perfectionism, or over-planning. Other times it’s more socially acceptable, even encouraged. Reaching for a drink to take the edge off. Scrolling to avoid feeling lonely. Staying busy so we don’t have to sit with ourselves. These habits aren’t “bad.” They’re human. But when they become automatic, when we rely on them to numb, distract, or soften life instead of actually meeting it, they can keep us from deeper presence.

Letting go, in this sense, isn’t about willpower or self-judgment. It’s about awareness. Noticing where we’re reaching for control or comfort instead of connection. Asking gently: “Is this still serving me, or am I holding onto it out of habit, fear, or familiarity?”

Surrender doesn’t mean giving up responsibility or abandoning structure. It means loosening the places where effort has turned into force. Where coping has turned into avoidance. Where protection has turned into armor we no longer need.

When we soften our grip (on outcomes, identities, or habits we once used to get through) something opens. Energy returns. Breath deepens. We begin to feel more available to our own lives.

This is where people often describe entering a state of flow. Flow isn’t constant ease; it’s alignment. It’s the experience of being fully engaged in the present moment, responding instead of resisting. Neuroscience tells us that flow arises when we’re embodied, focused, and no longer stuck in self-monitoring or control. In everyday language: when we stop hovering over our lives and actually step into them.

Trust plays a role here. Not blind optimism, but grounded trust in our capacity to meet what comes. Faith that we can experience discomfort without needing to immediately fix or numb it. That we can feel joy without clinging. That we can feel pain without turning away.

Because feeling, real feeling, is essential.

So much of modern life is designed to help us avoid discomfort. But growth doesn’t happen in numbness. Aliveness doesn’t live there either. Feeling the full spectrum of emotion (grief, pleasure, longing, frustration, tenderness) is what reminds us that we are here.

When we allow ourselves to feel, without immediately reaching for a buffer, we reconnect to our intuition. We learn what actually nourishes us. We become more honest with ourselves. And slowly, naturally, we begin choosing differently… not from discipline, but from self-respect.

Letting go doesn’t mean nothing matters. It means trusting yourself enough to stop gripping so tightly. It means meeting life with open hands instead of clenched fists. And often, what we discover there isn’t loss, but freedom.

If this resonates, I invite you to explore these themes in real time, in your body, and in community. Join us at Ocean Bliss Yoga for yoga classes, Pilates, sound baths, workshops, and more– offerings designed to help you soften, feel, and reconnect with yourself in a meaningful way. You can find our full schedule and upcoming events at www.oceanblissyoga.net. Call or text me at 917-318-1168 with any comments or questions. We’d love to welcome you!