Loved Ones, Community Celebrate Life of Robert ‘Bert’  Murphy

By Kami-Leigh Agard

This past Sunday, May 4, Belle Harbor Yacht Club was packed with family, friends and neighbors toasting to the life of longtime Rockaway Beach resident, Robert Murphy, affectionately called, “Bert.” Though five years later after he succumbed to lung cancer on April 6, 2020, and despite the pain of missed goodbyes due to NYS COVID protocols banning large gatherings—the atmosphere was anything but somber—instead, festive. As Murphy’s brother-in-law, Gerard Pisano shared, “Bert passed six months later after his diagnosis. He would’ve wanted a party, not a wake, and finally, here we are.”

Murphy came from a large Irish family living in Flatbush, Brooklyn with nine children: twins, Cornelius and Nancy; next, Mary Lynn, Kitty, Patty; then Robert, Timmy, Tommy and Michele. Tragedy came when the youngest twins died after birth. Then, at age 18, Murphy and his remaining seven siblings lost their mom. However, according to Pisano, “With Murphy Sr. juggling three jobs to make ends meet, Bert knew he had to step up to care for his siblings, and he did.”

Whether through family losses, fast forward to 9/11, where he worked for over three decades in downtown Manhattan’s financial district, Hurricane Sandy, and everything in between—the seesaw of balancing tragedy—versus always being present and loving life with family and friends, was a constant theme in Murphy’s life.

Pisano, a Belle Harbor resident, is married to Murphy’s youngest sister, Michele, raising their children, James, Christopher, and Andrew, who is on the autism spectrum. He shared a funny anecdote that illustrates how much Murphy not just enjoyed but honored the pendulum of life.

“Bert would come over every Saturday morning and stay through the evening, not leaving until, ‘One more beer and I’m going.’ That sometimes meant three more beers. One night he left with my size 14 sneakers on, which are four sizes bigger than his… Then next day, like every Sunday, he and my sons met at St. Francis for the 10 o’clock Mass, and that started the day right,” he said.

Pisano also recalled how dedicated Murphy was to all his children, including Andrew. “Like the great brother and brother-in-law, Bert was a great uncle to all our kids. He always worried about where they were, who they were with, and what time they get home at night. And with my autistic son Andrew, Bert was always by his side,” he said.

At the BHYC, there was a looping photo slide show of Murphy through the years, as a young lad, teenage years, college days and more. Folks cried and laughed, sharing anecdotes about their Irish boy from Brooklyn.

However, the consensus was that this celebration was not about closure but toasting to life with Murphy.

“Bert’s passing at 64 years young, put a giant hole in our lives. Yet, I don’t think we want closure. We talk to Bert every day, multiple times a day. When a new picture pops up on our digital photo frame, that keeps us thinking, he’ll be at our house, not leaving until, ‘One more beer and I’m going,’” Pisano said.