‘Shine Bright Like a Diamond’
By Kami-Leigh Agard
I don’t know if you will consider this a diary entry about love or just a stream of consciousness, but here it is. The other day, it deeply sunk in the meaning of true unconditional love. It’s 2 a.m. in the morning, and I’m working, when I hear that unmistakable sound of my daughter, Soa, stomping down the hallway. I sometimes feel that the slightest sound in the house is her trigger to “come harass mummy.” Admittedly, I was a little put out as I desperately was trying to quietly get some work done. As soon as I saw what I describe as her, “pouty mouth,” her lips pursed with a determined expression, I knew what time it was. Time for Miss Soa to raise hell! I had the house in complete blackness to not disturb Miss Soa’s unpredictable slumber. My 16-year-old turned on all the lights and gave me a look as if to say, “Got you!” I took one frustrated look at her face and exploded with laughter, exclaiming, “Oh faddah! God help me.”
She loves listening to music, so I decided to put on a song that I knew she loved years ago when she was a toddler. “Diamonds in the Sky” from pop star, Rihanna, used to enrapture her, so I played it on YouTube. Her eyes were transfixed as she stared at the imagery on the screen. The diamonds flowing like sand from Rihanna’s hands in the ocean, the wild stallions running freely on the beach, the sun twinkling on the water’s surface…I too was enraptured. However, then I knew what was next. She grabbed the phone and found her favorite song, “Gold Dust,” by DJ Fresh. Folks, when my daughter hears that song, her foot-stomping dancing vibrates the house. Just thinking about this being the perfect Seinfeld episode, I couldn’t stop laughing. Thinking my daughter is like Cosmo Kramer, Jerry’s off-the-wall, lovable friend.
After much hoopla, I eventually got her back to bed. Miss Soa fell asleep with a contented look on her face, as if to say, ‘My work, for now, is done.’ I intently watched her snore, scheming how I was going to gingerly sneak back to the living room to resume my work. I hovered over her for a while, wondering what she was thinking or even dreaming about.
With my headphones on, I resumed listening to Rihanna’s “Diamonds in the Sky,” thinking about the song’s words, the melody of the music, and how it emotes what I feel about my daughter.
These particular words resounded: “Find light in the beautiful sea, I choose to be happy. You and I, you and I, we’re like diamonds in the sky/ You’re a shooting star I see, a vision of ecstasy. When you hold me, I’m alive. We’re like diamonds in the sky…At first sight I felt the energy of sun rays. I saw the life inside your eyes…Palms rise to the universe, as we moonshine and molly. Feel the warmth, we’ll never die. We’re like diamonds in the sky.”
Folks, that single, un-orchestrated comedic time with my daughter reconnected my heart to my brain, my body, my soul—even watching her foot-stomp to “Gold Dust.” Laughably, the chorus of that song is: “It’s like gold dust. You hear me coming through your speakers. You see me mashin’ up your airwaves, I know you can’t get enough of my sound.”
Yes, Miss Soa, I can’t get enough of your sound! Yet, I still hold on to the thought that we indeed “are diamonds in the sky.” Beautiful, different—foot stomping to the beat of our individual drums. And parents, caregivers, even those of you who are not directly affected by autism, we all are in the same boat—“Just diamonds in the sky.” The value is in what we do with our time on Earth. Living, being, accepting and loving yourself—whether it’s shining like a diamond or mashin’ up the airwaves. My 16-year-old nonverbal daughter with autism teaches me that every day. I just wish it wasn’t at 2 a.m.
Share your thoughts by emailing kami@rockawaybeachautismfamilies.org
For info about Rockaway Beach Autism Families and our upcoming events, including our 2025-2026 schedule of monthly family support group meetings, visit: Rockaway Beach Autism Families on Facebook/Instagram. All welcome!
