Special Feature — Hear From Local Autism Warriors 

By Kami-Leigh Agard

In celebration of April Global Autism Acceptance Month, each week this column will feature a variety of caregivers and individuals on the autism spectrum, each imparting their lived experience and perspective. In this week’s installation, local resident, Melissa “Missy” Torres-Echevarría, shares why her nine-year-old son, Steven “Stevie” Echevarría Jr.’s autism diagnosis was not a death sentence.

Authored by Melissa “Missy” Torres-Echevarría

Autism Is Not A Death Sentence

There is something about the word, “Autism,” that can bring a sense of doom, fear, anxiety, confusion. These are all words I experienced upon my son’s diagnosis in 2016.

Having my son is my all-time greatest accomplishment. However, adding “mother” to that resume is the thing I am most truly proud about. My husband had grown children of his own and I had none, so, when I married the love of my life, I was more than content with building a life with just him and me. We decided to have a baby.

I gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy I’d ever laid eyes on. We got through teething, 2 a.m. feedings, first steps, and babyproofing like champs.  Our son was a very happy baby, always smiling and laughing, and everything was ok.

Shortly after my son’s first birthday, my husband noticed that he wasn’t mimicking words. I, being a very hands-on mom, would work with him every day, exposing his world to colors, letters, sounds, animals, noises, etc.  So, when my husband mentioned that our little boy should at least be interested in trying to repeat what I was saying or at least in some form, I simply wrote it off. My reply was, “Every baby develops at his/her own pace.” I had nothing to compare my son’s development to, but having worked with children in the nursery at church, I at least knew that much.

When our son turned 18 months, I had an appointment with the pediatrician for a wellness check. While in the waiting room, I was handed a survey, basically a simple checklist to give the pediatrician an idea of how my son was developing and growing.  I had no qualms about it until I noticed how many times I was checking off the “no” box.  “Does your child try to form words?” No. “Does your child respond to his name?” No. “Can your child point and ask for what he wants?” No. At that point, my son’s attempt to point was using an open hand to wave towards what he wanted and making a noise indicating to that something.

I’ve never hated the word, “no,” so much.  Then came the examination. Upon the doctor trying to communicate with my son and failing, fear is really gripping me now. What is wrong with my baby boy?  We were sent to have our baby evaluated. After a few weeks of appointments, tests and monitoring, we were confronted with the diagnosis that our son had autism. Now what?

As a person of faith, the first thing I did was PRAY. Pray about our next steps, pray for our emotions, pray for our baby boy. Our prayers were answered.  We started our son off with NYC Early Intervention, in which he received speech and occupational therapies.  Everything took a backseat. We had to embrace this new journey. Education was key, plus, having a great support system.

What a journey it has been. Every day is a new lesson in how to work with our son. How to tend to his needs. How to hire the right service providers. How to be patient. How to remain consistent. Good days and bad days are always with us. We’re still learning how to handle a meltdown from overstimulation. Each day is different. Our days could start off with a meltdown because I pressed the button on the elevator first, or it could be an hour at Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate, or a child wanted to play with him at the beach and he met someone new.

Everyone’s journey is so different. The word, autism, isn’t a death sentence. So many people are walking in similar shoes. However, I can’t stress enough that it’s one step at a time. One thing I’m 100% certain is that our son will never walk alone.

For the month of April, Rockaway Beach Autism Families is hosting a slew of events! For more info, visit: Rockaway Beach Autism Families on Facebook/ Instagram or www.rockawaybeachautismfamilies.org