Tender Tina

By Shane Kulman

Dear 

Enchantress,

It’s been nearly three years since I lost my husband. I’m 60 now. I never imagined navigating this chapter of life alone. My friends are coupled, my kids are grown, and while I do my best to fill my time, I feel a quiet ache — like something beautiful wants to emerge but I don’t know how to begin again.

I’m not necessarily looking to date — though maybe someday. I just want to feel alive again, not like I’m waiting out the rest of my story. How do I open to joy without feeling guilty or lost?

Thank you, with a tender heart.

Dear

Tender Tina, 

I feel the tremble tucked between your sentences — the quiet ache that arrives when life changes shape. The kind of ache that doesn’t scream, but whispers… something is ending, and something else is stirring. You are not broken. You are not behind. You are in the sacred, unpredictable chrysalis of becoming.

The therapist in me honors what you’re experiencing as more than pain — this is post-traumatic growth, the flicker of possibility that follows loss, the invisible doorway that swings open when everything you’ve known begins to shift. It’s the season after the storm, where the ground is soft, tender, and ready to be planted anew. It may not feel like progress yet, but please trust: this quiet search for meaning is already part of your healing.

Now, let me speak as your Enchantress — the one who sees your magic even when you forget it’s there.

Your soul is casting a new spell, one of remembering who you are beyond the roles you’ve held, beyond the identity tied to partnership or pain. This longing? This discomfort? It’s your inner director, pointing you toward possibility. You don’t need a ten-step plan. You need a soft yes — yes to lighting candles for no reason. Yes to red lipstick just to make tea. Yes to dancing barefoot to music that makes you feel nineteen again.

You do not need to fix yourself. You are already whole, never broken. Not in search of healing, the healing comes along with the expansion. What you’re invited to do now is listen — to your longings, to your boredom, to the odd moments of joy that show up uninvited. These are good breadcrumbs, scattered through the forest of this new chapter. Follow them. Trust them.

Your next version of self isn’t something you have to build. It’s something you’re allowing. Like spring arriving in slow green shoots. Like moonlight unfurling over still water. It doesn’t rush — it reveals.

So be kind to yourself. Hold your own hand. Reawaken your senses like sacred altars: smell the flowers, taste your food, speak your truth — even if your voice shakes. Especially when your voice shakes.

Your story isn’t over. In fact, a beautifully unscripted chapter is beginning. And it will not look like what came before — because you are becoming someone new.

With love and care, and invitations to attend any of my events, in person or virtual, you will walk away feeling full of care and love and having had a good time! Stay in touch.

Enchantress Shane

To ask The Enchantress a question or to inquire in working with her email her at love@enchantedembodiment.com, or write to her on any socials.