The Lazer Speaks

By Lou Pastina

A general invitation went out recently to all Graybeards to come down to St. Camillus to watch the basketball finals for the Legends and Young Guns divisions. A few years back, recognizing the need to diversify a bit, the Graybeards split the league into two divisions. The first, Legends was for the “old but not extinct guys;” the second, was for players 35 years and up to the Legends age: the Young Guns. When I played it was one league, 40 and older. The Legends league has some guys in their late 60s and possibly a few 70. When I played, there were no players 70 and very few 60, and the games were very competitive. Despite the friendly spirit of the league, sometimes the play got a little intense. There were several former high school and college players in the league and almost everyone in the league had played competitively at some level.

As I strolled into St. Camillus gym, I searched for some familiar faces and found a seat between two former players. I easily slipped into the banter that has permeated the league since its beginnings in the late 1990s, that is to say we all heckled the players on the court for missing a foul shot or getting upset with a referee. I remembered what fun it could be to sit around and pass judgement on those who had the courage to try and fit into a pair of gym shorts and run up and down the court without turning completely red-faced. It also brought back memories of all the pre-game work that went into getting ready to play, such as the mandatory two Advil before and after the games and the setting of knee and ankle braces to either avoid or deter certain injury. That’s not counting the three months before the league even started, when you tried to fit a year’s worth of conditioning into once-a-week training regimen. It never really did work as most would start the season as out of shape as we finished it.

The Legends championship was for not only bragging rights, but also the coveted long-sleeved championship t-shirt that the talented flaunted all winter long. I never got one of those, never even came close. What I remember most is trying to command my body to do something that my mind still remembered doing but had since forgotten. So much for muscle memory. Back when I was playing, the occasional jump-shot or a lay-up made me think “I still got it,” then someone would show me a picture, and I would be horrified to see that my vertical leap was about two inches. Mentally defeated, I drifted out of the league stumbling into the music scene, which I found equally humbling.

Watching the game wind down, tempers flared but so many alumni lined the perimeter of the court that even the losing team took solace that a crowd was there to watch, and cold beer was waiting in the coolers. The winners were magnanimous in victory, as showboating is specifically frowned upon. I was glad I saw so many former players and current players. Buoyed by that optimism, I decided to stay for the Young Guns championship game. I was however surprised that kids who were hanging out were playing in the next game. My understanding of the term “Young Guns” did not include young men my son’s age. How could that possibly be? As they warmed up on the lay-up line, they reminded me more of the players from back in the day, although to be honest, my memory is fuzzy at best. When the game started, it became clear how fast, strong and talented they were, running the court with an ease not seen in the first game. And I thought, how could I have ever played with these guys? Two thoughts hit me at that point, the first was that my last Graybeard game was 22 years ago, and that means not only am I old, but I am nearing extinction! Second, this league was a phenomenal idea that has stood the test of time and brought generations of men together in a bond of friendship that has lasted a lifetime. What a wonderful thing and something to be saluted and celebrated. So, to this year’s players, I certainly salute you, and to the founders of the league, still vigorously involved, job well done! Thank you! I recommend that you all put a Graybeard game on your calendars for next year!