Dear Enchantress

 Dear Enchantress

By By Shane Kulman

Dear Enchantress,

My Sister is sad, she cannot seem to get out of this funk. She really tries, and I see her struggles. She has sort of opened up to me, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. She has friends, and they are around, but they are so mellow, and seemingly sad themselves. How can I help her, and how can I help myself? I get sad thinking about her and the way she is living her life.

Ugh. Help, and thank you in advance.


Dear Sad Sister,

It’s with a heavy heart that I read your email and I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. Many of us experience moments of sadness, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed from time to time. However, remember that there is hope and support available to you and perhaps your sister.

First and foremost, know that it’s essential to give yourself permission to feel your emotions. It’s okay to be sad, on behalf of someone you care about, and sometimes, allowing yourself to process these feelings can be a step towards healing.

If her sadness persists and starts affecting your daily life and your sister’s, it might be helpful to talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, or a professional counselor. Sharing your emotions with someone can bring relief and provide valuable insights.

Also, consider engaging in activities that bring you joy and peace. You can invite your sister along, or simply tell her about the things you’re doing WITHOUT inviting her or trying to teach her a lesson. Volunteering, especially with children, is another great idea. Doing things that lift your spirits can be incredibly beneficial during tough times. Especially doing things that you’ve “always had an interest in” and never had the time. Getting busy with your own life can inspire your sister.

Remember, self-compassion is key. Be kind to yourself and avoid putting unnecessary pressure on your shoulders. Healing and growth take time, and it’s okay to take small steps towards feeling better. This may feel like you’re not helping her directly, but you are, and you can keep reminding yourself of that.

If you’re comfortable, try writing down your thoughts and emotions in a journal. Sometimes, putting feelings into words can bring clarity and even serve as a form of release.

Lastly, don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you feel that you need extra support. Mental health professionals are trained to assist individuals dealing with sadness and other emotional challenges, and their guidance can make a significant difference. And they can be a great resource for your sister. Basically, if you have influence on her, upgrading your own mental is the best support you can be.

Above all, remember that you are loved, and there are people who care about your well-being. Reach out for help, take care of yourself, and believe in the strength that lies within you to overcome these difficult moments.

With warm regards,

Enchantress Shane

If you have a question for Shane email her at


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