Frustrated Fran

By Shane Kulman

Dear Enchantress, 

I’m writing to you with a heavy heart and a complicated family dynamic that’s been weighing on me. My sister-in-law has been consistently rude, dismissive, and even downright mean to me for years. At family gatherings, she makes passive-aggressive comments, excludes me from conversations, and often rolls her eyes or mocks my ideas. When I try to be kind or extend an olive branch, she either ignores me or finds a way to make me feel small.

What’s worse is that my partner (her sibling) tends to brush it off or says, “That’s just how she is,” which leaves me feeling unsupported and alone in dealing with her behavior. I’ve tried everything from setting boundaries to killing her with kindness, but nothing seems to work. I dread seeing her, and it’s beginning to affect how I feel about family events and even my marriage.

How do I deal with a mean sister-in-law without creating even more tension in the family? And how can I get my partner to truly understand how painful this is for me?

From,
Frustrated and quiet

Dear Frustrated Fran, 

First, let me acknowledge the tenderness in your words—you are clearly someone who values harmony, connection, and emotional presence. To feel unseen and disrespected by someone so intertwined in your family web is a wound that can quietly deepen over time. And when your partner—the one who vowed to walk beside you—seems indifferent to your pain? That ache is not just emotional; it’s energetic. It can pull at your sense of belonging and safety like a tide you can’t quite escape.

This isn’t just a tangled family drama. This is an initiation. You’re standing at the edge of a new beginning for yourself, one that calls for both fierce love and sacred boundaries.

It sounds like your sister-in-law is caught in a pattern of projection and emotional blocking. While it’s not your job to heal her, it is your right to shield yourself with grace and power. If you imagine yourself as the high priestess Goddess, of your own inner temple, what energetic protections might you summon? Perhaps a psychic bubble of purple light before family gatherings.

Now, your partner—ah, yes. The bridge between your world and hers. When someone says, “That’s just how she is,” it’s often code for, “I don’t know how to deal with her either.” It may be time to speak to your partner not from logic, but from your soul. Share how her behavior makes you feel in your body, how it alters your joy, your light, your sense of ease in their presence. Say it not with blame, but as a sacred reveal. Let them know that their silence isn’t neutral—it’s a spell of invisibility that you no longer consent to.

You don’t need to wage war. You don’t need to shrink. What you do need is a container for your own light to stay lit, even when someone keeps trying to snuff it out.

Consider creating a ritual for yourself before gatherings—light a candle, call on your ancestors or guides, and set an intention to remain rooted in your worth. Afterwards, take time to energetically cleanse—whether it’s a salt bath, journaling, or a walk beneath the moon.

Remember, being classy doesn’t mean being silent. Sometimes, the most graceful thing you can do is lovingly—but firmly—name the truth and take up space. You are not too sensitive. You are exquisitely attuned. That is your magic.

With authenticity and strength,
 Your Enchantress Shane

If you have a question for Enchantress Shane, or wish to work with her to improve your own life, email her at love@enchantedembodiment.com