The Beautiful Story of Rita Hayden

By Deacon Vincent M. La Gamba

There is a saying, “When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.” Then, “When you die, the world cries, and you rejoice.”

On May 6, 2024, the Blessed Mother month, Rita Hayden peacefully returned to the House of the Father to receive the precious gift of Eternal Life after her terminal illness.

She left us as a predestined person whose mission on her earthly life was to use the Rosary as the prayer of those who conquer all adversities. She always spoke of the great graces she received from our Blessed Mother, especially in connection with her frequent offering of the Rosary at least three times each day!  I will always remember Rita as the lady “with” the Rosary, praying it for her family, friends or outside the abortion clinics with Fr. Reilly and at the Pro-Life Rally in Washington every 22 of January for 30 consecutive years.

Rita was a very active parishioner at St. Francis de Sales in Belle Harbor, her place of worship day in and day out. Rita met Peter, the love of her life of fifty years at a wedding, who said to her, “I am going to marry you!” And he did. Rita’s “fiat” to Peter was this, “I want a big family.” They had five children: Rita (married to John Martin); Kate (Keith Gallagher); Peter (Meghan); Patrick (Lisa); and Mary (Thomas McGoorty). Their latest grandchild, Liam, was welcomed on March 18, 2025, by the other grandchildren: John; Katie; James; Matthew; Thomas; Hayden; Taryn; Susanne; Avery; Lauren; Caroline; Peter; William; Carleigh; Patrick; Brendan; Olivia; Joseph; Thomas; Jack; Maci; and Makenna. Otherwise – Peter said, she “would have become a nun.”

That, perhaps, was her true vocation for she had a deep faith since childhood.

Born Rita McCarthy on December 9, 1945, she bore the same name of her mother and the great Saint Rita of Cascia (Italy), Patroness of the Impossible Causes. Her firstborn daughter was also named Rita.

Rita and Peter loved to dance. Peter actually took after his father, who was an excellent dancer. It has been said that dancing is the art of perfection if both partners play the right part. Rita and Peter played, indeed, the right part, for they danced for 50 consecutive years until the day Rita got sick. Then, the music stopped.

For people who love dancing, they probably know that a dance, in the Bible, is a form of prayer in which man praises God with his whole being, uniting body and soul.

This unity between body and soul, often lost in everyday life, is rediscovered through movement. Bodily gestures in prayer were already widespread in early Christianity.

Dance is, indeed, a path that leads to the deepest roots of our “being,” where we feel connected with “everything that exists.”

Rita can be described as someone who dedicated her life to being, faithfully serving God and living according to His will through prayer and dancing. Her life is an example of forgiveness, peacemaking and unwavering faith. But praying and dancing is what made Rita’s existence worth living!

Rita Hayden’s husband, Peter, was a firefighter, who was in charge of the “rescue and recovery operation for the FDNY on 9/11,” a tragic day for America.

There were 343 Firefighters who were killed after the collapsing of the Twin Towers. Peter, who worked without stopping until March 2002, knew most of those heroes. He attended numerous funeral Masses for many months, but he could not reach out to all families. He also felt that Mass cards and flowers were not sufficient expressions of condolences. He had to do more, to which Rita had a good idea. She suggested to Peter that she would prepare 343 Rosaries, each with a locket. In it, she put a picture of each deceased firefighter with a personal note of condolences to all the families. Later on, 97 more Rosaries were added because 97 members of some families requested them. They were grateful to Rita for such a precious gift. In a very special way she, through the Rosary, influenced the spiritual life of many who learned how to pray and still praying the Rosary for their loved ones.

There is more to it. On January 23, 2005, Peter, then Chief of Department of the FDNY, received a notification of a serious fire in the Bronx where several firefighters had been forced to jump from a building while battling the fire. One of them died at site, while others were in critical condition. He went to St. Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx where he found out that an additional firefighter had passed on and two others were critical.

As Peter finished talking with the hospital staff, he saw Mrs. Cawley waving at him from a sitting area at the end of the hall. She was holding a Rosary that Rita had given her. The photo in the locket was her son Michael, a firefighter who perished on 9/11. Her other son Brendan, a firefighter five months into the job, was now in the hospital. He had been forced to jump 50 feet out of the building.

As Peter approached Mrs. Cawley, she waved the Rosary at him saying: “Brendan is going to be OK.” Peter silently prayed that she would not lose another son, while, after several minutes, a doctor told her that Brendan would be fine. He had a minor injury at the shoulder and at the head, although he jumped 50 feet out of the burning building. Brendan fully recovered and returned a few weeks later to his fire company.

A miracle?  Only God knows.

Mrs. Cawley believed in Rita who gave her a Rosary that conquered the adversity of life: her second son did not die.