100 Years of Inspiration—Margaret Dwyer
By Patrick Minson
As a child, I always loved it when my grandmother took me to the Ram’s Horn for breakfast. It was time that I had with her just to myself and did not have to share with my three older brothers; however, this time was always interrupted by her current and former students who all wanted to say hello. And since she taught at St. Francis de Sales and St. Camillus for more than 35 years, these interruptions were quite frequent. Because I was young, these small visits were quite frustrating. What I failed to realize was that I was not the only person to realize my grandmother, Margaret Mary Small Dwyer, was special and that my life was better because she was in it. Every student that she has ever had understands the joy she brought to their lives and impact she had on their upbringings.
It is not an overstatement to say you could not tell the histories of St. Francis de Sales and St. Camillus without mentioning my grandmother’s name. Because of this legacy, a few people thought it would be nice to write a story and recognize her many contributions to the Rockaway community as she approaches her 100th birthday this coming December 28. On September 29, another lifelong Rockaway resident and longtime educator, Anne Marie Greene, and I sat down with my grandmother to discuss her life, Rockaway, and favorite memories. For those of you who do not know Anne Marie, she is the sister of Billy Blum, who according to my grandmother “was one of her best-looking kids” and who she “thought would be a good match for my mother.”
My grandmother was born in 1924, grew up in Greenwich Village and was a member of St. Joseph’s parish. One of her fondest childhood memories was when her mother snuck her out of school, took her to Radio City, paid 10 cents to see “Gone with the Wind,” and made her swear not to tell the nuns at school. Though she lived through the Great Depression, my grandmother was lucky and did not feel the impact as her father, who graduated Bishop Loughlin High School and served in World War I, was an accountant at AD Julliard. And although he and his colleagues needed to take pay cuts, they were always employed. At the age of 16, the U.S. entered World War II, and, like many Americans, her family was impacted by rationing. During this time, many of her friends enlisted and she watched as women began to enter the workforce. Upon graduating Cathedral High School, she enrolled in Brooklyn College and studied to become a teacher. Eventually she would also receive her master’s in education.
As a child, she “would come to Rockaway in the summer” and her family would “rent a bungalow.” It was during this time that she met my grandfather, Jack Dwyer. My grandfather, who rented the bungalow next door to my grandmother, was a very good athlete, and my grandmother’s brother, Captain Joseph Small, wanted him on his summer softball team. As the story goes, my grandfather had graduated Xavier High School and was enrolled at Fordham University, so his playing days were behind him, but my Uncle Joe “was so nervy that my grandfather could not refuse.” And when my Uncle Joe told my grandmother that he got Jack Dwyer to play on his softball team she replied, “Who is Jack Dwyer?” When he finally got the nerve to ask my grandmother to the movies, her father said, “No, he’s too old,” but her mother stepped in and said, “Oh he is a very nice young man,” which cinched it.
Eventually, they married at St. Joseph’s Church, had their reception at the Fifth Avenue Hotel, honeymooned in Old Orchard Beach, Maine, and lived in an apartment in Greenwich Village, where my mother was born. After a few years, they moved to Belle Harbor because they “loved the beach in the summertime and it was lovely in the winter because they had St. Francis de Sales.” They rented an apartment on Beach 129th Street, before eventually settling on Beach 133rd Street, where they have been living for almost 75 years.
With her degree from Brooklyn College, my grandmother thought it was only natural that she teach at a Catholic school. She began her teaching career at St. Francis de Sales, under the leadership of Sister Thomas Joseph, where she taught kindergarten through third grade. Her first class consisted of 106 kindergartners. Every day she singlehandedly taught 53 students in the morning and 53 students in the afternoon. While this may sound like an overwhelming number by today’s standards, my grandmother has always said, “Kindergarten was the best. There may have been a big crowd of children, but the parents were great. You could ask them for anything, and they would do it.”
It was during these years and decades that my grandmother made an indelible impact on the lives of many Rockaway youth. A few members of St. Francis de Sales’ third grade class of 1960 have said she “taught us a lot about a number of academic subjects, but, mostly, through the example she set and the caring attitude she brought to school every day; Mrs. Dwyer taught us life-long lessons of patience, kindness and, mostly importantly, strong Catholic values.” Some, like Dan Murphy, who had her for first grade at St. Camillus, have a “special memory” of my grandmother “possessing a gift for teaching young children to play nice, share with joy, laugh often, and help others and to sing our little hearts out.” Not surprisingly, a number of former students have mentioned she often played music in the classroom between periods and during lunch. They can still recite the lines to “Daniel in the Lion’s Den,” and have PTSD from being assigned a new saint every Friday to go home and research without the benefit of the world wide web.
Others, such as Rose Drake, have stated her “kindness, compassion for all of her students, love of teaching and her respectful demeanor gave me the confidence to follow my dreams.” Patricia Cosami talked about how my grandmother inspired her to become a teacher. “I often think about Mrs. Dwyer and what a master teacher she was, given the large class size of 32 students, the curriculum, and the expectations to prepare us for sacraments,” Cosami said. “She was always kind, nurturing and encouraging. She always acknowledged effort and corrected mistakes or transgressions in a loving way. I learned so much about being a teacher from Mrs. Dwyer.” Simon Young remarked, “She bolstered my self-confidence. She saw something in me that I wasn’t sure of but after that year, was never ashamed or embarrassed of and still use it today. Leadership. She saw it. She molded it and made me own that part of myself.” Linda Sullivan spoke about how she once told my grandmother, “I wanted to be a gymnast when I grew up. She told me I should be a lawyer. She was right. I’m a lawyer now. I’m so grateful to Mrs. Dwyer for always believing in me (even as a little girl) and for planting the seed in my mind that I could achieve anything I set my mind to.”
Almost all of her former students have used the words “glamorous,” “fashionable,” and “elegant” to describe her. John Ronayne recently remarked that Mrs. Dwyer is “a woman of ageless beauty, uncommon grace, and understated elegance.” It is not surprising that Donna Graves and Patsy Tubridy recently ran into her at the salon getting her hair and nails done. Over the years, my grandmother has made regular visits to Strands, Sophia Wang, and Studio G so she looks nice for her many social engagements, such as making a surprise appearance at Ellen Cahill’s bridal shower at the Harbor Light, visiting with Patricia Tennyson and former St. Camillus faculty at Kennedy’s, or taking in the sunset at The Wharf, still her favorite spot in town.
While my grandmother was loving and gentle, Johnny Nash has said she was “compassionate yet no nonsense,” which is why he is always on time and still holds doors for people to this day. Others, like Mike Koppinger, said she “had high expectations for us to learn and grow and that quality homework was a must … When her fancy car pulled into the parking lot, punchball was over, and it was time to line up.” Julianne Fonseca recalls, “When she caught one of the boys teasing me, Mrs. Dwyer corrected them right away,” while Simon Young remembers when Mrs. Dwyer put him in charge of quietly bringing the class back from recess, but his schoolmates had other ideas. My grandmother boldly declared, “I put Simon in charge of bringing you back into school after recess. He was helping me. And this is how you behave. When I say he is in charge, he is in charge. Some of the girls in the class were not too happy about this, but Mrs. Dwyer was the boss. We never had that problem again that year.”
While there are many former students who have shared memories about being chosen for the “May Crowning,” singing and dancing in the Christmas show, learning times tables, phonics, penmanship, watering her flowers when she was out of town, running to the store to get her milk during the school day, or preparing for Penance and Holy Communion, there are just too many to include in this article. What is clear is that my grandmother was an “ambassador for children,” and “a woman before her time,” who taught life’s most important lessons which included kindness, love, patience, character, integrity, service to community, and faith.
Perhaps it is Chip Young, one of her all-time favorite students, who phrased it best when he recently wrote, “I am filled with deep gratitude and admiration for the profound impact you have had on my life and the lives of countless students in Rockaway. Your dedication to teaching and your unwavering belief in the potential of each child have shaped not just generations of learners, but also the very fabric of our community … Thank you for your unwavering support and for instilling in me the belief that education is not merely a job, but a calling to inspire and uplift others. Your legacy lives on through the lives you’ve touched and the teachers we’ve become because of your influence.”
Reading the heartfelt words of her students, it is not surprising why all the patrons of the Ram’s Horn Diner wanted to stop by and say hello all those years ago. It gave them a few moments to remember a loving and positive influence in their life who believed in them and helped them believe in themselves. At the same time, I know my grandmother would like to thank all of her students for the impact they had on her life. During our conversation, she expressed of her time as a teacher, “It was wonderful. I got up every morning enjoying the job I did … When I think of Rockaway, I think of all the children that I taught.”
Mrs. Dwyer will be heading down to Florida for the winter, ahead of her 100th birthday. If anyone would like to share a memory of having Mrs. Dwyer in school or send a note for her birthday, please email her grandson, Patrick Minson, at patrickminson@gmail.com.
