By Bert Sanders
This is what it all comes down to, it all comes down to this! This Saturday, September 16, is the officially sanctioned summer season sendoff spectacular. At 1 p.m., Rockaway will host the 9th annual Poseidon’s Parade. As this is the last correspondence before the big day, please read carefully and partake in rigorous notetaking. The Rockaway Mermaid Brigade will not take kindly to any questions posted on Friends of Rockaway that have already been addressed in the column. So, watch your step or endure the trolling and character assassination that is commonplace on the soulless social media platform we call home.
The parade will kick off at 1 p.m., but participants are encouraged to come early and line up on the boardlesswalk by Beach 106th Street. Not only is it admirable and prudent to be a punctual person, the pre-parade party is often the highlight of the day, and the best time to scope out the competition. While it is possible to register day of, online registration on poseidonsparade.com is strongly recommended.
If you are on the fence about participating, you should get off the fence and register a group. Sitting on fences can be both uncomfortable and unbecoming. Once off the fence and registered, you can compete for trophies in the following categories: Best Pet, The Ms. Colombia Award (Best Individual), Best Block, The Kristine Caruso Award (Best Adult Group), Best Children’s Group, Best Restaurant / Pub, Best Bike, Best Float, and Best Overall! The competition is certainly heating up, so it would be wise to use this week to make any last-minute changes to your act. It is important to keep in mind that a good bribe for the judges is often the icing on the cake to secure the flamboyant trophies that are handmade by the Brigade’s ruthless dictator, Queen Casey.
Speaking of judges, they will be lined up on meticulously decorated lifeguard chairs on the boardwalk by Beach 100th Street. Ms. Bettina, aka “Marsha Mellow,” will be directing traffic and introducing the acts to the highly decorated judging panel. The official emcee of the parade, Jimmy “Uncle Moose” Dowd, will be narrating the hysterics. He will be fresh off a morning surf provided by Hurricane Lee, and he will be sure to carry the stoke into the event.
The parade, which is being led by Geoff “El. Capitan” Rawling’s Whaleamina, will end at the concessions on Beach 97th Street, where Soulshyne will get the party vibes started. Parade participants will be able to enjoy face painting, pictures on Whaleamina, and other activities as the judges partake in careful deliberations. At 4 p.m., the Brigade will kick off the awards ceremony and present the trophies.
After the ceremony, summer’s last hurrah will be handed over to JunxionNYC for the official afterparty. Junxion is a multifaceted DJ and dance troupe that brings artistic vibes to the masses with each performance. As of now, the entire DJ lineup has not been released, but we know that 2melo will be bringing the bus and the thunder to the event. His crew will take the dancing well into the night, as parade goers and spectators alike will say goodbye to summer 2023.