Dear Enchantress,

By Shane Kulman

The world of dating feels like a swirling dance of mystery and vulnerability, and I find myself unsure of the steps. How does one balance the magic of being fully seen with the fear of being too much—or not enough?

I long to create connections that feel like shared spells, rich with authenticity and mutual wonder. Yet, I sometimes stumble, unsure if I’m casting my intentions too boldly or guarding my heart too tightly.

How do I trust the rhythm of this enchanting but unpredictable journey? And how can I invite a partner into a relationship that feels both grounded in reality and elevated by the extraordinary?

Seeker of Love
and Magic

Dear Seeker of Love

and Magic,

Oh, darling, the dance of dating is always a bit of a waltz and a stumble, isn’t it? But here’s the truth: the right partner won’t be watching for your missteps; they’ll be charmed by the way you sway, spin, and shine—imperfections and all.  They will LOVE what you think is bad about you. I promise.

Being too much or not enough? Forget that nonsense, that is the down parts of self-help books and social media. Invite connection by showing up with both feet on the ground and your heart slightly tilted toward the stars. When you meet someone who feels like a rhythm you can’t resist, trust yourself to take the next step. And if it doesn’t work out? Thank them for the lesson and twirl on to the next adventure—crown intact. The most important thing is to HAVE FUN, and use what my friend Dr. Steve Bodansky talks about—PARN. Play, Attention, Reveal and Notice. So set your intention to be playful, put your attention on the other, reveal yourself just enough, and then notice. PARN is the dance to use so you have a protocol, so you stay interesting and interested.

The right one will meet your magic with their own, no hesitation, no fear. Keep dancing.

Yours with a wink and

a sprinkle of stardust,
The Enchantress