The Gift of Love

By Kami-Leigh Agard

I recently read this line from a blog by Ellen Stumbo on “The Mighty”: “Some people might look on as we parent kids with disabilities and think our lives must be hard.” Simply stated, yes, it is. BUT … as parents we just do as all parents do—love our children. And as Stumbo’s blog continues, “but even though there are hard days and hard moments and hard hours, they do not steer our lives. What really matters — what is most important—is love.”

Folks, I can play my violin and tell you about the tough days. For example, my daughter exercises what her therapist terms, “demand avoidance.” Just yesterday, she refused to get off the floor, and after hours of both her dad and I imploring, bribing, demanding that she get up, the jaws of life couldn’t budge her. Also, she has this new habit of literally pouring entire gallons of orange juice, lemonade, whatever she could sneak out the refrigerator, on the floor.

As frustrated and helpless I feel on many days, my 16-year-old baby’s giggly smile always makes me melt. Folks, this is how a parent loves, and I’m sure you can relate. Whether your child has autism, another disability, a learning delay or just exhibiting some behavior issues, we love them anyway, and would give our last drop of blood just to see them live their best life. And for me, with all the blemishes on my own life’s resume, God has continuously shown me his grace, mercy and love. So, how could I not do the same for my daughter, the love of my life!

Caregivers, we knock every door down to help our children. Sometimes the daily grind, trying to understand autism and cope, are hard. However, the beautiful thing is, like water, without our children, we couldn’t survive. We need to drink from their special well. My daughter is the reason I jump out of my bed every day. She is my water, my hydration.

So, parents—parenting is not an easy road. Yet, how blessed we are to have God’s unconditional love that in turn, we can bestow to our children—disability or not.

I’ll leave this scripture with you: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

On another note, Rockaway Beach Autism Families’ sixth annual holiday party has come and gone, but the sweet taste of gratitude is still strong in my mouth. Rockaway, on behalf of our small enclave of autism families, I came knocking, and you in turn answered, solidifying the 2024 version of the best time of the year—the sweetest! This past year, the autism community basked in Rockaway’s love, and with a peninsula of residents as strong and generous as ours, I find myself even more grateful my mum planted roots here. And with life’s unexplainable byways and highways, I’m not only raising my 16-year-old autistic daughter right here in Rockaway, I’ve found such insurmountable joy in advocating for other families with loved ones on the autism spectrum.

I have a mile-long thank you list (see ad on page 25). Colossal shoutout to The Rockaway Times, Richie Knott of Knights of Columbus, Owen Loof a.k.a. The Best Dressed Man In Rockaway, Rockaway WISH, O’Malley Irish Dance Academy, Rockaway Beach Dance Company, our teen volunteers, and the plethora of businesses and residents who made RBAF’s holiday party extra special. And of course, RBAF’s event planning committee: Venus Ramos, Rado Rafiringa, Matthew Wolf, Christine Dydzuhn, Patricia Harvey, Rojo Rasaori, Ariel Randall, Rich Pontieri and Jeremy Bucaria.

As Helen Keller aptly stated, “Alone we can do little, together we can do so much.” And Rockaway, we did this together! To borrow former RT Columnist Peter Mahon catchphrase’s (albeit tweaking it a bit): Rockaway, why would anyone want to live anywhere else? Happy Holidays and God bless!

For more information about RBAF’s 2025 monthly family support group meetings and other events, visit Rockaway Beach Autism Families on Facebook/Instagram, website: www.rocakwaybeachautismfamilies.org or email: kami@rockawaybeachautismfamilies.org