Tried-And-True Tips for Celebrating the Holidays with Autism
By Kami-Leigh Agard
As most families with loved ones on the autism spectrum can attest, the most “wonderful time of the year,” looks quite different. My daughter is 16 years old, and each year since her birth, I’ve learned to adapt to her ever-evolving likes and dislikes, sensory needs and toleration of family gatherings and crowds. Ultimately, it’s about making the holidays magical and filled with love. That said, I’ll confess that with each year, it’s not like the weather forecast: clear skies today, rain or snow tomorrow. However, a lot of planning, coupled with patience and understanding go a long way in making the holidays spectacularly bright for not just your autistic loved one, but the entire family. Again, there aren’t any “right” answers, but here are some tried-and-true tips that can help overcome challenges, lessen holiday stress, and truly make it the most “wonderful time of the year.”
Numero uno—Forget social media. Don’t be triggered by posts of parents with photos of their children at Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, Santa at the mall, not to mention, “The Brady Bunch” family wearing matching pajamas? Sigh! I’ve learned to just “like,” and move on. No disrespect, but I know what my daughter can tolerate, and refuse to thrust her into a situation—all for the sake of a social media post. Why not do something casual and local, especially if you need to be make a speedy exit? For example, the Beach 116th Street Christmas Lighting happening on Monday, December 2 at 6:30 p.m. Also, Joe Mure’s always spectacular “Little North Pole,” (114-03 Neponsit Avenue, on the corner of Beach 144th Street) kicks off on Saturday, December 7 at 3:30 p.m. Don’t feel like you have to share on social media. The most meaningful “like” is your child’s smile.
Food. The aromas of turkey or a pie baking in the oven are heavenly. However, the dishes you are salivating over maybe different from your child’s. There might not be a single thing that resembles a traditional holiday meal on their plate, but that’s okay! Prepare what they like, ultimately setting the tone for a welcoming family gathering. Also, is access to food a trigger? Consider plating from the kitchen, instead of putting dishes out on the table. Also, if you are invited to a home where you cannot control the menu, make sure to bring snacks and meals for your child. As for desserts, rein them in! There’s no shortage of sweets during the holidays, and too much sugar can lead to overstimulation and other problems for any child.
Gifts. When family and friends ask what to buy, be candid about your child’s likes and interests. Spoiler alert, there’s no perfect gift! The gift is the giver, and my daughter has taught me that. My uncle is visiting from Italy and brought her lip gloss. I was astounded when she eagerly not just opened the tiny box but applied the lip gloss on herself. More expensive does not equate to being more valuable.
Travel. Prepare in advance for the trip by packing your child’s favorite toys, books, or movies. Practice packing and unpacking. Additionally, create a social story or show pictures of the airport, airplane, destination, etc. TSA Cares is a helpline that provides airport travelers with disabilities and medical conditions requiring special accommodations during the security screening process. Call 72 hours prior to your travel at (855) 787-2227.
Safety. If you do go to a crowd-dense gathering, safety is paramount. While wandering/elopement can happen at any time, incidents tend to increase around the holidays. There are many GPS trackers such as AngelSense, Apple AirTag, Galaxy SmartTag (for Android), and more. Also, bring a reliable adult along for the fun. Two eyes are better than one.
The magic of the holidays is not in the grandiose number of events you attend, picture-perfect holiday photos, the number or price of presents—all our children need is our PRESENCE!
Speaking of presence, on Saturday, December 7, 1 p.m. to 5 p.m., all are welcome to attend Rockaway Beach Autism Families (RBAF) Card Party Fundraiser at St. Rose of Lima Church gymnasium (130 Beach 84th Street). The fundraiser is to help offset expenses for RBAF’s 6th Annual Holiday Party happening on Sunday, December 15 at Knights of Columbus (333 Beach 90th Street). For more info, visit: Rockaway Beach Autism Families on Facebook/Instagram or email: kami@rockawaybeachautismfamilies.org
