Dear Enchantress

 Dear Enchantress

By Shane Kulman

Dear Enchantress,

I hope this message finds you well. I’ve been grappling with a bit of a fashion dilemma lately, and I’m hoping you can offer some guidance. I’ve never been particularly savvy when it comes to dressing, and I’ve always felt a bit out of touch with the latest trends. Lately, I’ve been yearning to step up my style game and actually feel cool in what I wear.

The thing is, I have no idea where to start. It’s not like I want to completely reinvent myself, but I’d love some advice on how to put together outfits that exude a cool and confident vibe. I see people who effortlessly pull off that laid-back, stylish look, and I can’t help but feel a little envious.

Do you have any tips for a guy like me who wants to upgrade their wardrobe without feeling like they’re trying too hard? What are some essential pieces or style hacks that can instantly elevate a guy’s look? And, most importantly, how can I find a style that feels authentic to me?

I appreciate any advice you can offer.


Dear Style Seeker,

Bless your heart! I honor your desire to like how you dress and want to feel cool. It’s a basic need, and not feeling cool can keep you from taking risks and being social! So here is a DIY way to create this for yourself, AND I would be remiss if I didn’t offer you my services to help you with this privately.

So here you go. First, do some research, when you’re out and about, look what other men are wearing that you are attracted to, and think “they look cool.” Then when you get to your phone or computer, start a collage. Don’t think too much, just add things quickly. It can be a color a style, a specific article of clothing.

Also notice when you see celebrities’ clothing and what you like on them too. Ignore the voice that tells you, “You’ll look stupid,” or “that’s not for you.” Tell those inner thoughts “who cares.” Think of this like a game and a fun game!!!

When I work with clients, they often look at me funny when I suggest something, but then they love it! So really notice some bold things you are attracted to as well. Also, don’t worry about being shallow.

I find that most men can dress like their fathers did, or they dress the same as they did as a teenager, and have ill fitting, non-flattering clothing, especially pants!!!!! Some men are lucky and date or marry a woman who helps shift this, or they are naturally great at it, or have friends that are great at it.

Once you have a collection of pieces you are attracted to, bring your collage to a store! Start easy with tops. TRY THINGS ON! So many men just go and buy stuff and bring it home and have no idea if it’s flattering. I find that men with blue or green eyes, know to wear tops and sweaters that bring out their eyes. If you don’t know what colors to get, always go for jewel tones. Pastels need help to be picked out. Choose nice fabrics. NO polyester. Pure threads are nice and take more care, but you are worth it, no?

Put shopping dates on your calendar. If you’re not a natural shopper, you won’t spontaneously find the time. If you have the funds, go to Bloomingdales and ask a salesperson to help you.

Make sure you get a fabulous, fitted coat, cashmere/wool blend is nice, and stay away from black, it’s boring. There are so many dark greens, or browns, or camel color coats that are dashing!

Shopping is one of my favorite subjects and ways to help people! I wish you shopping joy!!!!

If you have any special questions to ask Enchantress Shane, email her at

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