Dear Enchantress,

 Dear Enchantress,

By Shane Kulman

Dear Enchantress,

I hope this letter finds you well amidst the magical energies that surround this festive season. As a seeker of wisdom, I find myself grappling with a predicament that seems to have eluded the grasp of mundane solutions. The holiday season approaches, bringing with it the promise of joy and togetherness. However, in the tapestry of my family, there are threads woven with avoidance, creating a pattern of discomfort and strained connections.

My heart aches as I witness family members withdrawing into their own realms of solitude during these celebrations. It’s as if they build invisible barriers, preventing the warmth of the season from penetrating their hearts. Dear Enchantress, how might one navigate the delicate dance of the holidays with family members who are adept at avoidance? How can I infuse the gatherings with a touch of magic that dissolves the barriers and fosters a genuine connection?

Seeking your ethereal guidance,

Seeking Samantha


Dearest Seeker of Magic,

In the tapestry of familial bonds, I see the threads of your concern and the delicate weave of your desire for connection. The holidays, with their enchanting aura, offer a unique opportunity to transcend the ordinary and infuse gatherings with a touch of transformative magic. Herein lies the alchemy to mend the fabric of avoidance and rekindle the flames of familial warmth and togetherness.

Firstly, embrace the love within you. As you approach these gatherings, carry with you the radiant light of understanding and compassion. See each family member not as an avoidant soul but as a constellation of experiences and emotions, each deserving of acknowledgment and acceptance.

To unravel the threads of avoidance, and to weave a tapestry of shared experiences that create new memories, you can plan some craft activities that spark joy and collective participation, creating a shared canvas of laughter and shared memories. Instead of pointing out what isn’t working, plan things that work, and ACT AS IF, “this is how we roll.” Through these shared moments, the barriers of avoidance may crumble, replaced by the alchemy of shared joy.

Invoke the magic of communication. Engage in heartfelt conversations that transcend the superficial. Share stories of gratitude and vulnerability, inviting others to do the same. In the sacred space of genuine dialogue, the enchantment of connection can thrive.

Consider the power of rituals. Create traditions that transcend avoidance, inviting family members into a sacred dance of shared customs. Whether it be a candle-lighting ceremony or a symbolic gesture, these rituals can become bridges between hearts, fostering a sense of unity.

Finally, channel the energy of empathy. See beyond the masks of avoidance, acknowledging the individual journeys each family member traverses. Extend the hand of understanding, allowing the magic of empathy to dissolve the walls that separate.

I send you care, love and curiosity that things may feel different, because you are bringing different energy to the table.

If you have a question for Shane, and need some enchanted advice, you can write to her at

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