Drowning Debbie

By By Shane Kulman

Dear Enchantress, 

I need help. My home is overrun with piles of things—papers, clothes, sentimental items, and random objects I tell myself I’ll need “someday.” I want to be organized and have a clean space, but every time I try to tackle the mess, I get overwhelmed and stuck. I struggle with letting go of things, even when I know I don’t truly need them. It feels like each item has a memory or a possible future use, and I can’t seem to make decisions without second-guessing myself.

I’ve tried decluttering before, but the mess always seems to creep back. I’ll make some progress, only to get busy or lose motivation, and before I know it, I’m back to square one. It’s frustrating, and honestly, it makes me feel like I’m failing at something that should be simple. I don’t want to live like this anymore, but I don’t know how to break the cycle. How do I start making real, lasting changes?

Thank you for your help!

Dear Drowning Debbie,

Take a deep breath, dear one. You are not failing—you are simply standing at the edge of transformation, ready to step into a life of greater ease and clarity. The fact that you long for change means that change is already beginning. Clutter can feel like a tangled spell, weaving together memories, emotions, and “what ifs” into a web that’s hard to escape. But you have the magic within you to shift this energy, one small, gentle step at a time. And it can be overwhelming.

Overwhelm often whispers that you must fix everything at once, but that is an illusion. Instead, start where you are, with something tiny—a single drawer, a small stack of papers, or a cluttered shelf. Set a timer for 15 minutes and pour your attention into that space. When time is up, pause and celebrate, you must stop and celebrate, it’s a must, even if you have more energy and time. You have already created movement. Let this be a ritual, not a battle. Decluttering is not about achieving some distant perfection; it’s about crafting a home that nurtures and supports you.

As you decide what to keep, shift your perspective. Instead of asking, “Will I need this someday?” ask, “Does this item align with the life I am creating?” If it does not, trust that releasing it will open the door for something better. For sentimental objects, consider capturing their essence with a photograph before letting them go. Memories live within you, not within things.

To keep clutter from creeping back like an enchanted vine, create simple, joyful systems. Try the one in, one out rule—each time something new enters your home, something old must leave. Keep a small “release box” where you can place items that no longer serve you, knowing they will find a new purpose elsewhere. Make this process sacred, a gentle act of honoring what stays and blessing what goes.

If your struggle with clutter feels deeply emotional, know that you are not alone. Seeking support from a professional organizer or an awesome friend who is good at holding space for you. A therapist who understands the connection between emotions and belongings can be profoundly healing. Sometimes, clutter is more than just things—it holds stories, fears, and attachments, so remind yourself to be nice to yourself. Untangling these threads with kindness will help you reclaim not only your space but also your sense of peace.

Trust in yourself. You are not just clearing a home; you are creating a sanctuary. Step by step, choice by choice, you will weave a space that feels light, free, and truly yours.

With love and enchantment,

xo
Enchantress Shane

If you have any questions for Enchantress Shane or wish to hire her for an event or private coaching; email her at love@enchantedembodiment.com.