Name Nuances

Names are so important. That’s true when it comes to anything. Some names are so iconic they take on a definition of their own. Google is not just the name of a search engine – it has its own definition in the dictionary! Jeff Bezos chose to name his company Amazon because he wanted a name that would always be near first alphabetically. Before that though, he was set on “Cadabra” as in “abracadabra.” Could you Imagine if we were ordering toilet paper, a back scratcher and 40 AA batteries from Cadabra? It’s just not right.

The Rockaway Times is a great name. I have it on good authority that back in 2014, there were several different iterations of names that almost took the cake. Some good, some not so good. The reason many newspapers (this one being the most famous, of course) use the word “Times” in their title is because one of the definitions of “time” is “an instance of something happening or being done; an occasion.” Makes sense. The Rockaway Times is a bit of a double entendre though. For better or worse, all locals are familiar with showing up on “Rockaway Time,” particularly in the warmer months… Just perfect!

I will go on record saying that the best column title to ever grace these pages is “Boyleing Points.” It does not get any more perfect than that. Without even beginning the column you knew what you were in for. I wonder about the “aha!” moment when that first came to Kevin. He must have thought it was too good to be true. A play on words that would endear a writer into his audience’s hearts for years.

So where am I going with all this? Well, I am trying to figure out what I should name my column. It’s difficult enough trying to figure out what to write about but on top of that I have to worry about what the heck I’ll call it too. I know there is no competing with “Boyleing Points,” so I won’t even try… “Mc(Con)Veighing the Point”? No! I said I wouldn’t try. Stop.

While I love a good pun as much as the next guy, I find myself to be more an alliteration kind of guy. For those of you who don’t know, an alliteration is “the occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words.” For example, “Bungalow Bar” or “Wacky Wednesday.” They just flow so nicely. There is something about an alliteration that sounds right to me. I think in the end that is the direction I will go. “Thursday Thoughts”? “Sean’s Soapbox”? I really don’t know.

Give me another week. I promise I am working on it. By next week I will have one! In the meantime, I will sit and simmer in jealousy that I have not had my column name epiphany yet. It’s really boyleing my blood!